Just can’t do it. Tried to suck it up and deal with the away time, but I just can’t do it. I just called in and tendered my resignation. Probably a very bad idea, but I just can’t freakin’ do it. It ain’t in me. I never wanted to go on the road (except on a whirlwind concert tour entertaining screaming fans) in the first place, but attempted to force myself for the sake of the check. Mark suggested a low paying alternative would resign me to home, but I’ve been doing that for the last 10+ months anyway. The risk I’m taking is great. Despite a report that another twenty weeks will be added to unemployment compensation, there’s no guarantee that they’ll re-open my claim. Yeah, jobs are scarce, but they’re not non-existent. I’ll find something and there are other people keeping a look out on my behalf as well, as I have been on behalf of others. JEEZ! what a pain!

Now the hard part is the change of stress the fetching Mrs. Marshall Art will now undergo. Where the long absence of her beloved (that would be me) burdened her loving heart, the continued absence of income will play on her fears (she’s the worrier). This causes me no small amount of regret, to say the least, as well as a great deal of second guessing. Perri tells me he must leave home for a year in order to make some righteous bucks. If I had a sense that my situation was so determined, fixed to a specific period of time, perhaps I could weather the period knowing there was a goal line. But I have no such certainty. I don’t even have certainty that I’ll be home on a specific day regularly so planning anything resembling a normal life on my two days off is a crapshoot that can be further complicated by inclement weather. I’m 1.5 hrs from my operating center if I drive the limit. Imagine a screw-up getting me back from my trip late and then having my travel time doubled (and easily so) due to heavy snowfall. That drive-time home is MY time and counts against my reset time. If I already have an assignment, then my off time is further curtailed.

No. I just can’t do it. I’ll find something. And if we continue to get more conservative victories as elections come up, economic recovery will accelerate and more jobs will be available for those of us impacted so ruthlessly.